it seems like i only talk about boys in this blog.

but nowadays thats all worth talking about.

and im actually going to use names... so here it goes.

i still like jesse.  no way around it.  i dont trust him... but i still like him.  i know he doesnt like me... and he doesnt wanna hang out with me like he used to.  i think im going to give up trying.  i dont know if hes even worth it.  he doesnt text me as much as he sued to... he doesnt talk to me unless i start the conversation.  he tells me he hates his life.. but wont tell me why.  i told him i would help him with his math homework... but he never makes a time to do it.  or if i set up a time, he wont show up.  its ridiculous.  and it doesnt make sense.  he talked to me more and hung out with me more when he had a girlfriend.  then they broke up, and he stopped talking to me as much.  isnt that messed up? its kindof ridiculous if you ask me.  i really think he jsut used me.... and i dont know if i wanna put myself through that anymore.

now on to guy two.  his name is andrew.  hes really sweet... but he has a girlfriend, and hes in love with her.  i mean i dont want to break them up.  at all.  i dont want to hurt him.  or her for that matter, even if i dont know her.  and it makes me sad... because he liked me last year, and i couldve dated him, and we might even still be together.  and i feel really bad because i started dating ben while he liked me, and i think that ruined it.  we stopped talking to him for awhile... and then i started dating jesse.  and i guess if i started dating andrew at first.. then i wouldnt have even had to worry about jesse and his stupid drama.  but oh well.  and now i like him again, and i cant even do anything about it.  but its ok because hes an amazing friend and i dont want to get hurt.  again.

then theres taylor.  i dont think he likes me anymore.  i try to hug him and flirt with him and stuff.. but he doesnt give me the chancee.  but oh well.  i guess it doesnt matter anyways.  hes really sweet and i think he broke up with his girlfriend...  but yeah.  i think hes the last chance i have... because hes the best choice i have(:  but i dont know if he likes me.... should i find out?  ill ask him to hang out and i can flirt with him and see how it goes(: